Newborns attract attention. Lots of attention, usually. Two newborn babies attract even more attention. Sometimes it’s almost like you’re wearing a sign that says “Please Talk To Me” when in public.
People mean well and I know that. It’s even fun to be able to show off your new little bundles of joy sometimes. But there is a happy medium in this situation. Some people want to stand and chat for a long time. Or they come up to your table in a restaurant and won’t quit talking and making oogly eyes at your little one. Then it becomes awkward, because there’s not really a nice way to say, “Umm, well, sir/mam, this is the first time we’ve been out of the house in weeks and while our babies are happy would you please leave us alone so we can enjoy these few minutes while we eat.”
I’m sure that wouldn’t go over well. And it’s rude, I know. That’s why we’ve never said that. We just smile and nod and answer the same ole questions over and over. Now, this doesn’t apply to friends that you may see out in public. That’s different because you know them and truly don’t mind talking to them a little longer.
Here’s a list of five of our most common questions.
1: Are they twins?
This is pretty general. We get asked this question nearly every time that we leave our house. There have been times where we wanted to reply by saying, “No. They’re just super close in age.” I mean, come on people! Not only do they look identical (not to us, but to most strangers) but they’re the exact same size and probably 90% of the time I have them dressed the same too. I mean even if they were only nine months apart they wouldn’t be the exact same size.
2: How do you tell them apart?
Well, I don’t really know. I’ve always been able to tell them apart. So, no. There is no big identifier that I can tell you so that you can tell them apart too. At this point some people want to hang around and get really close to them and then try to tell me that one of them has eyes that are closer together or something bizarre like that. Umm, ok. Thanks for that tip. I’ll remember that next time I can’t tell them apart.
3- Do twins run in your family?
Okay, that’s a better question. But, unfortunately for me it has a long answer. My paternal grandmother is a twin. But, identical twins (according to my OB doctors) are NOT hereditary. Fraternal twins are hereditary on the female’s side. This would mean that the mom has more than one egg waiting to be fertilized per month. But, identical twins are one egg that was fertilized and then simply split into two (or more) babies. That’s some deep conversation for me to have with a stranger that stopped me in the grocery store. But, alas, I have shared that with hundreds of people since my boys were born.
4- Which one is older?
Usually I just point and say, “This one is, by two minutes.” Then the kind stranger usually says, “Really?! I wouldn’t have guessed that.” I just want to shake my head. I mean, really? And just how did you decide that the other one was older? I actually had one woman whom I have never met before try to argue with me and tell me that I was wrong. I’m not making this up. She told me that since Maxton was a little chunkier at the time that he had to be the first born. I assured her that he, indeed, was the second child to be born out of my body. She still didn’t seem convinced. Crazy lady.
5- Is it hard to have two of them?
I always say,”Well I have nothing to compare it to. They are my first, so I never took care of just one baby. This is all I know. But, yes. Taking care of them is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but also the most rewarding.” I’ve had some people say that they could never have twins. It would just be too much work. Or some have said to me that if they found out they were having twins it would just be horrible. At this point I usually am thinking to myself, “I wonder if they forgot they were talking to the parents of twins?” Because surely they wouldn’t be calling my children “horrible” or a “burden” if they remembered who they were talking to. But some people really do say those things. In my mind I want to smack them for talking about my babies like that. That’s me turning into a mother bear who’s protecting her cubs. But, in reality I usually just give a little fake smile and slowly walk away.